Not everyone is given the grace to rediscover themselves and live a life of purpose especially at an early stage in life. For many, life seems to be a constant battle of surviving rather than a battle of living life with a purpose.
When I recall how my life has played out, I realize that I have gone through so many challenges and have lived so many personalities; some i am proud of and some i am disgusted about. I was very jovial in my teen; i enjoyed being in public, helping people, being a leader, solving task and so on. Any thing that would put me in people’s faces; I was all up for that. However, when i got to university, like in my 1st year of college, it all started to dwidle. I was more comfortable locking myself up, doing things that only gave me joy and not bothering about doing things that gave other people joy. Looking back at it now did i loose my purpose in life? Don’t get me wrong, I was a good friend to my friends, I was always there for them when they needed me. I just stopped making conscious effort of being in people’s life and helping people go through shit that didn’t necessarily affect me.
Knowing who you are and knowing the reason God put you in this world, into your parents, into your family or into any position or people’s life is very important. There is always a spiritual attachment as to why God put’s you in people’s life and in certain positions. It’s either you are there to help others or be helped and you have to spiritually look at it that way.
I was very naive spiritually until recently when I made a conscious effort to connect with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Now, the thing is I am not really convinced about going to church 24/7 or doing those rituals Nigerian pastor’s like doing, however, I do believe that anything I do has a spiritual connection to it. I believe I have to make decisions about my life with a spiritual intention and meaning and this includes my sexual relationships.
As spiritual beings we need to understand that sex is spiritual. There is a connection and bond with the person you are engaging even if it’s as little as a peck. I never found myself attractive but apparently people did. So getting attention from women at an early stage in life made me Mad !! In that process I failed to safeguard my soul, I was careless with my spirit and allowed people have access to a part of me they had no place being. Even as little as talking to someone whose spirit didn’t align with yours is very important. Don’t be quick to share intimate moments with people unless you are sure they value such intimacy and value you have.
Regardless, I am not here to judge myself or make myself feel bad because I control my destiny. My past doesn’t bother me again because I am a better person. I know who I am and I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.
I am writing this piece not only to remind myself that I am talented, I am creative and I am greatly favoured by God but to also encourage anyone who comes cross it that no matter the circumstance you find yourself you are in control of changing the narrative. God has an interest in our lives and we should not take it for granted. So many things I could not explain because I was spiritually naive but now looking back it all makes sense.
I was depressed and unhappy and I told myself that it was just a phase. It took me meeting someone special in the most unspecial circumstance lol to get back my mojo. I am equipped, I am well able to see my dreams come true and it’s up to me to see that happen.
